Tuesday, January 4, 2011

The First Step to Recovery is Admitting You Have a Problem

If you read this post before, it has been edited to include a give away! Don't miss out...

Hi. My name is _____ and I admit I have a problem. I don't know the psychological term for it yet because I refuse to categorize it as *hoarding* or obsessive compulsive. I'd rather it be seen as a positive thing than a negative...


Ok, so for all you other people reading, I personally don't mind if you judge me or not, because chances are you won't yell at me like a relative/Ordy would :) Plus, we can't have Ordy thinking he's dating a crazy now, can we???

Let's see... it all started one fateful day. I was at the Victoria's Secret semi-annual and I found out that they were discontinuing my favorite bronzer. **GASP** I know, it can't be. So, I did the only natural thing to do and bought every.single.one... at every.single.store. in metro Atlanta (that's 6)...I left the store with the assistant manager helping me with the boxes, not bags. So, I had quite the stock up on the bronzers... but it didn't take long for friends/family to catch word and that nice stockpile quickly dwindled and I was already depressed over it, but kind of relieved because I really didn't have room for all of the boxes. 4 years later and I am down to about 7.

#7 not pictured. In Heff. God forbid I'm in my car and pale
{If you haven't caught on to my "disease"... it's that I buy multiples. of everything that i love. it's sick.} I guess you could kind of tell here, how I got 2 bottles.


For no reason. Just because they were cute. I couldn't just get one, no I had to get TWO. The irony? My sink ledges are full and waiting for the other 19 million I have from Bath & Body Works to be used in rotation. These soap dispensers are hidden, stored away. Sometimes, I catch myself washing my hands every 5 minutes just to use the soap to get to a new bottle waiting patiently under my sink. I have no where to put these pretty things. I have seriously caught myself saying, 'one day, in my future house...' wait whhhaaaaa? like they won't have cute soap dispensers when I move in a few years? I honestly think it's OK to buy stuff just to pack for a home I don't even have any intentions of buying or moving into soon?! Ugh.

Side note/true story: Emily ran out of soap, and needed some before her family came in town. Have no fear, my personal store gave her a bottle in no time. Where else can you get B&BW soap when the mall is closed?

Even if the item is in NO IMMEDIATE threat of being discontinued, if I like it, I buy multiples. Sometimes 2, sometimes 20. No, really, yesterday I bought 35 candles from the Better Homes & Garden collection because I loved all 5 of the scents, so I bought 7 each- you'd do that too, right??? I mean, candles burn! I'll miss out if they discontinue... It'll be a shame! Well, the true shame, is trying to find a home for 35 candles when I currently have around 24 (no exaggeration, I counted) of Bath & Body Works candles from semi-annuals past. No lie, when my sister wants to go "candle shopping" she skips the mall and comes straight to my linen closet. Last week, she walked off a happy girl with 4 three-wick candles in her scent of choice...

Back to the 35 candles. I'd prove it with a picture but as I have no room for them in my home, they are in the trunk of Heff. Waiting to come in.

The ailment continued to progress as I walked in a Bath & Body Works one day and the lady ringing me up decided to misinform me that they would no longer be carrying the rose salve I'm obsessed with. I left the line and purchased every single one in the bin. Well, India and I split the bin from what I remember, and it was comforting to know that she too sensed the urgency of the issue and participated in purchasing while we could... The weird thing though- is they didn't discontinue them- they still sell them and it doesn't bother me one bit that I have a shoebox full at home... I feel safe. That if I didn't have a car but had chapped lips, I could just reach into the pile. Pathetic. Even more pathetic is I've had chapped lips before and didn't want to open a new tub just because I misplaced the full open tub I had. I cleaned my entire room just searching for the open one... how can I buy so much and still be so stingy??

Then, I walked into my local Sally's and they didn't have my item on the shelf. Of all nine hundred and ninety million items to pull from the shelf and they plug my favorite finishing spritz. Really?? The WEIRD thing is because my obsessive-multiple-shopping behavior struck years before, I had about 5 bottles at home I could live off of, but now with the immediate emergency I was panicking. {Did you think it was weird that I was out to buy some when I had 5 at home? Yeah, me too. That's why I'm admitting I have a problem. I'll know I have the stuff at home, but still go out and buy more...}

I discovered if you go to Sally's in East Bumble, it's actually on the shelf until someone buys it and they just don't reorder it. So, I bought them all. All 7. And now I'm down to 4 and panicking. {so, if you see any, call me and I'll paypal you to ship em to me!}


The urge hits with everything. Things I love. Things I know will never be discontinued (Suave, really??) and things I just don't want to go low on. I thought this behavior was normal. My sister and I always buy multiples of clothing we like. You know, in case something rips, splits, stains, shrinks, or shreds. You'll always regret not having that circa 1997 GAP denim jacket that your best friend Sue never returned to you- well, not I. Because that no-good Sue can keep the dang thing, I have another one cozy in my closet waiting to have the 13 year old tags ripped off it... That's planning ahead.


Last summer, I couldn't choose a color for new sunglasses, and got 3. When would I EVER wear WHITE sunglasses?? {for that same reason, a friend is borrowing them, and I have yet to wear them... I'll stick to black and tortoise shell...}



  • I have 6 pairs of the classic Old Navy yoga capris. 3 black, 3 navy. And I still struggle with walking past them when they have a sale. sick. 
  • I have 16 wallflowers from B&BW in Vanilla, 8 in Sensual Amber, 8 in Japanese Cherry Blossom, and 4 in Black Amethyst.
  • I have 4 tubs of Bare Minerals bronzer (in case they realize the tiny particles really do cause severe lung damage and they do a worldwide recall, they can't take the ones from my closet - lung damage or not!)
  • I have 8 pairs of pearl earrings in case I lose any. (Forever 21... not real or anything)
  • I have 2 of my favorite nail polish colors. 
  • At one point, my fridge was completely empty except for 36 bottles of San Pellegrino. For weeks.
  • I have 6 pairs of Rainbow sandals (sand thick strap, brown thick, black thick, yellow thin, black thin, and another sand thick because the first was worn out)
  • I have 4 pairs of Uggs (had 5 but quickly realized I wouldn't wear leopard Uggs as often as I'd think...)
  • I have every single color Polo Oxford they made for women
  • I have 5 pairs of Toms
  • I have 14 white watches
  • And I only have half a brain... 

The list could go on, but I'm sparing myself the embarrassment...

Warning: The following pictures will make you want to send me to a mental hospital.





When the end of the world comes, can I borrow your milk and dry goods in exchange for some hair products and self tanner? At least we'll look good...


 It's like a drug store in my closet. I will never run out of any one of my "staples"... Like I risk never being able to buy .99 gel?? Really? That's how I know there is something wrong with me. But it all started from discontinuations. Legit concerns.


 Every single bra in this drawer has the tags still attached on it. Why? WHO the heck knows. I don't get it. There is something wrong with me. These fall under the category of "too pretty to wear, but want one in every color". I had to bring them all out and remind myself why I will NOT be going to the Victoria's Secret in store semi-annual tomorrow. Every year I spend over double the average person's rent. I go to all 6 stores the morning they open and leave with 2 huge bags from each store. Every single year I hoard away bags of underwear, bras, and pjs that never get worn. I've gifted many, lost some, and hidden all that's left. It's like I'm some creepy care taker of these goods that I love too much to use/wear. It's organized chaos.


I couldn't just stop at the soap. It's like a collector's joy to get the whole line...

This is a picture of LAST years day after Christmas shopping. That's a BIG room. It's actually the sunroom in Ordy's house that could double as a second living room...Yep, one girl, all alone, did all that damage. I don't even have kids or a family and I went all out. This is why I only did half that amount this year (I'm improving)...

I did manage to get 180 coffee cups. I loved the pattern and don't care that I will be drinking out of a snowman cup in July, it beats the ugly boring cups the grocery store sells... but really. 180?




Those trays... I love those beaded silver trays. So much that I bought every one the store had. I couldn't just get one. So, I got 3. (and looked at other Target's with no luck) Three looked suspect stacked, so I put one on my coffee table and hoped that the stack of two wouldn't be too noticeable...

Bandit saying, "help me. my mom is crazy..."

Please pray for Bandit (oh, and I guess me too. with my disorder and all hahaha)... but he has a 'hang nail' with exposed nerve on his wittle paw. The big guy is just a baby! I don't want him to be in pain!



In order for me to embark on my journey to recovery, the process requires a semi-purge. A gentle nudge in the right direction. One lucky reader will win a package of "my favorite things"... It will include more than you see here in the 'drug store' shots. It'll be a fun box full of things I love and clearly can't live without! So go ahead, comment and leave your e-mail address for a chance to win my version of Oprah's favorite things! Giveaway ends Sunday, January 9th. 









34 comments:

  1. You are hilarious! I do hate when things are discontinued... And have kicked myself several times for not stocking up before it happens!

    I love the ruffled (table runner?) under the trays! Did you make??

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  2. hahah, see, u should be like me! notttt...

    the runner was part of my Christmas present from Bartell's mom! she needs her own etsy shop! i gotta post what else she made, it's awesome!! once i take my lesson tom i'll have her teach me :)

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  3. Oh Sheila, how I have missed you over the years, lol!! You totally crack me up! I am definitely entering to win as I have no time with 2 kids and a husband to indulge myself quite so extensively! Haha! Love your place and your style, how beautiful! Miss you bunches, we should catch up soon, it's been forever since JFBC ;o)
    ~Kathryn (Davies)McClearen
    kmcclearen@gmail.com

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  4. Oh. My. Gosh. I just finished reading this post and my mouth is still hanging wide open hahahaha. We'll work on this in 2011... among other things :) See you in 5 days woo woo woo!!

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  5. I am CERTAIN I will LOVE all that you love too! You're seriously hilarious! (and I too have kicked myself for not stocking up when I KNEW something was being discontinued). I became a follower :)

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  6. so... wasn't totally sure if i had to leave a comment as an 'entry' but i just started following your blog b/c i follow your sister on tumblr and she's been recommending you! and ok fine, who doesn't love a giveaway? you're very funny though... good luck on your purging mission!

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  7. I'm glad y'all can laugh at it! fingers crossed that's how Ordy will react.. haha!

    and yes, comments are the only way I'll know which followers will want to win! WELCOME to the blog and the craziness!! :)

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  8. Um, yes (to the giveaway!) please.

    And yes, it's that serious. You have awesome taste and a give away of yours runs a second close with Oprah, haha! So... I am adding your button AND rebloggin' your giveaway! (I guess that just means bog about it?)

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  9. Yes please!!! I love contests! -cortney

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  10. You have inspired me to start my own blog, though it may not be as exciting as yours! LOL
    ~Kathryn McClearen
    kmcclearen@gmail.com

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  11. Haha! You're just overly prepared :) I'll reblog this when I get home... Currently sitting on the floor, next to a stinky trashcan in the Phoenix airport so I can charge my beloved phone ha!

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  12. DAMN. I need a beer after that post and I don't even drink beer. May the force be with you.

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  13. I'd love to win, I found your blog through your sister's blog as well.

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  14. Love it! I love this post, doesn't every girl want 10 pretty colored bra's organized in her drawer?

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  15. This is slightly ridiculous, but I love it anyway! You remind me of my mother in law!

    heinznichole at gmail dot com

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  16. This is such a funny post. Please put my name in the hat! I am your newest follower :)
    bridgestranslation at yahoo dot com

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  17. Oh man! You just reminded me of an upcoming VS semi-annual sale! Isn't it true that if someone else is doing it.... that makes it o.k.? In that case! On to the sales!

    hallmi49@yahoo.com

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  18. Hello :),
    I've been reading your blog on and off for a couple months now thanks to your sister (Who I follow on Tumblr) and I've decided to make a committment to read your blog everyday now (yay!). I loved your entry on your "problem". It made me giggle because it reminds me of myself. I'm a Senior in college who enjoys sales and buying ridic. amounts of goodies. Unfortuently due to my love of sales and shopping, I ended up with only $3.63 to my name last week. (Thank God I got paid today) Spring semester is approaching quickly (1 week away) and getting a box full of goodies from you would get me thru this semester :)

    P.S I reblogged your giveaway on my Tumblr and have become a follower thru Twitter.

    xoxo,
    Letty (lnsilva@eagle.fgcu.edu)

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  19. Of course I'm a follower!! I buy multiples of shampoo, conditioner, hairspray and mousse. Why? Because I don't want to go to Walmart once a week -- the problems of curly hair girls. A lady once asked me if I owned a hair salon when I was checking out at Walmart. Ha.

    I'll blog about it on my tumblr also. Miss you guys!

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  20. heathersallred@yahoo.com. I am the opposite of you, I do not even buy the things I need (: I could use more clutter

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  21. OMG! buying all the bronzers at one VS is one thing but going too all of them in Atlanta is excessive! lol..At least you recognize its a self-discipline issue and willing to work on it..that is the second step to recovery..I realized even if I have the money at the time to take advantage of "deals", I should fore go and save for a rainy day..we can't run to our parents forever when we are in a bind..and in both our professions, we won't be making "real" money till we are in our early 30's probably..One thing that has worked for me in the past is not even entertaining those sales, avoid reading the emails or unsubscribe from the sales notifications...Good luck with the recovery process!

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  22. Giveaway... sign me up!

    canlwilliams@gmail.com :)

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  23. Sign me up! This is hilarious, you know how to make it happen! If this comment is a re-post, sorry I'm a tard, if not then sorry for the tard comment. :)
    I blogged about you, check it out!

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  24. I love being stocked up on all of my favorite things..and I see some of my favs in your stock! Would be thrilled to win! Thanks! I'm a new follower and hope you'll visit me, too! ♥

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  25. Oh my were we separated at birth! I stockpile too & would love to see/win your favorites!

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  26. I definitely understand the stocking up on discontinued items philosophy! Thanks for purging for the sake of a give-away! :)

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  27. Posted a blog with your giveaway!

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  28. Very cute! I added your button & mentioned the giveaway on my own blog- check it out!

    http://fashionfittingroom.blogspot.com/2011/01/ordy-joon-giveaway.html

    & please sign me on for the giveaway. :-)
    brandisnicole@gmail.com

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  29. http://houseofsmiths.blogspot.com/2011/01/tutorial-how-to-let-me-reply-to-your.html

    Click there to see how I can respond back to you guys!

    Thanks so much for entering!

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  30. i'm a new follower and i. am. loving. this.
    count me in for the giveaway!

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  31. I totally want in. And no-- you are *not* a hoarder. Hoarders have so much that they tend forget about and/or neglect their hoard, and everything turns dirty and gross. Your things are neither dirty nor gross!

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