Missing: Best Friend

I don't even know how to begin this post. I feel like I need to write it as a release of some sort, since that's what this blog is for... I doubt this will be cathartic or any bit of relief for me since somewhere out there, my best friend still roams.

Baby Bandit

While Ordy and I were enjoying ourselves in the Caymans this past week, Bandit managed to dig his way out of the yard and get out Friday night. We flew home Saturday- a day too late. I heard the news Friday night and was in a state of shock and disbelief, knowing surely he'd be home before I even had to worry about it by Saturday. When we landed and heard he was still not found, panic set in. Here's the story here.

Bandit is my everything. He rode shot gun with me everywhere. We ran every single errand together. He was an additional limb to my body. If you invited me, you would expect Bandit- because that's how we roll. In the fall and spring time I would take him to my restaurant job and leave my hatch open for him under the shade of a tree and sneak out to feed him rack of lamb bones that the customers would leave behind. He was spoiled. And this pampered pooch riding shot gun began at a very young age....

Here we are... 3 months old taking a nap in daddy's truck... 

then. 

"now"

he loved to touch me. always be near me.

happy family, nudging his way in

he would curl up better than most cats i know... 

my love for him grew by the minute- just like his head. 

He let me do WHATEVER I WANTED to him. Dress him. Paint his nails. Hot Pink. 

ready for church, Easter Sunday

Bandit in Burberry

being a good boy and letting them air dry :)

He was always my puppy, my baby. 2? Doesn't matter. BABY. 

I intentionally have an ottoman instead of a chair in my office because he likes to come up and sit with me while I study. He has to be near me... 

Even when I go to use the restroom... he'd follow me (nudge his way with his big basketball head) and sit in the tub waiting for me... TMI but EVERY TIME. He was too big to figure out how to turn around in the tub so he'd just stare in the corner until I was done, then he would follow me out. This is where he would stay when I straightened my hair. 

It was almost an unhealthy obsession... I looked forward to seeing him after a day of school and just sitting with him loving on him. The minute I met him I loved him and it never died. Not one bit.

he would let me dance with him, he'd never bite me or whine. just do whatever. 

If you followed me on twitter, you would know most of my tweets are about Ordy and Bandit. All pictures too. My boys.

He is so good with children. So gentle and sweet with my baby niece. She used to climb all over him.

His look here breaks my heart. doesn't even care about the kids terrorizing him. so patient. 

He was a gentle giant. Still is. 

This poor boy, who only knows of air conditioning and comfy beds is out there lost, and probably terrified. He needs his mommy. I wake up and look for him, screaming his name around the area all day. It's become my job- only a 14 hour shift one with no pay... I can't sit still, I fear I might miss him when he might come out in front of me.

I can't stop crying. Everything reminds me of him. I hate being home. It's so lonely. No one here to protect me or bark at the mail man. I need him back. I beg you, please pray for his return. It's coming up on day 6 and I am just devastated. I don't eat, I hardly sleep- I get chest pains and will hyperventilate having a panic attack having nightmares that he's in danger. I'm writing this as I sob and the tears fall down my face onto my laptop keys. I've never felt this pain. I've never had anyone near me die, but I'm thinking this hollow emptiness in your heart and the gut-wrenching feeling is comparable. I am not undermining death by comparing it with losing a dog, but part of me died when I heard he was missing Friday night. I refused to believe it. I was sure he'd be back after he was done playing and enjoying his freedom. I was sure he'd come to my voice Saturday night. 4 hours later nothing.

I need him to make this year's Christmas Card. I need him to protect me. I need him to cuddle with me. I need him.

Here's where you come in. I need prayer. I need lots of it. I need an extra set of eyes in the Austell area. I need help. I need you to pray for peace, comfort, understanding, and perseverance. I REALLY want you to pray for the little guy, out on his own wandering around for his mommy. Every sighting has been someone saying they tried to get him and prevent him from running on the busy street but he looks scared and won't go to anyone. I am trying to make myself available, 14 hours a day but I don't know what else to do. Please pray for us. I really don't know what I would do if I never got to hug him and look into those sweet brown eyes again. He was supposed to be in our engagement photos, let's pray he still will...

***Added... a normal night of loving on my bambam... only caught by my best friend, Matt. Who thought it would be funny to forward it to my sister and friends showing how "gross" I was for kissing my dog... At least I can never say, "I wish I loved on him more..." or, "I wish I hugged him more..." He was more loved than most pets are in their lifetime.