Wednesday, November 3, 2010


so much to say but don't even feel like saying... weird, huh? It's that time of year/month/season/whatever... I look back on pictures and see HOW MUCH WEIGHT I HAVE GAINED and have a little pity party for myself while my friends and family listen to me like a broken record swear off sweet tea and fried foods... until I'm desperately looking for a healthy alternative on my way to class and go to Chickfila again. It's a never ending cycle. Feel fat. Eat good for one day. Work out for one day. No time- CFA drive thru. I'm SO sick of it. I am so ready to lose 50 lbs. and I DON'T KNOW HOW. I know it's drastic but whatever... I feel like it's a good goal. I talked to my friend about this- bc 50 lbs is a lot, and i am sure i'd be ok with losing 35- but i really don't care about the weight... i want to be 3-4 sizes smaller. I have a goal i just don't know how to achieve it. I feel helpless! <-- so pathetic because if i had enough will power i would eat right and go hit the pavement- but no.

It doesn't help that I got in this mood after shopping all day for a dress to wear to an upcoming wedding. UGH! THERE ARE NO NICE DRESSES OUT THERE! and also, DO NOT WAIT FOR THE WEEK OF THE WEDDING TO GO DRESS SHOPPING! I mean, dang. you'd think that's a given...apparently not. The one dress i loved and was LONG like i wanted (to cover my gross legs) was too small (go figure) and the nearest Bloomingdale's with my size (size extra extra chunky) was in California. Um. on second thought, please do NOT order that size fat and let me lose weight before spending $xxx.xx on a dress. thanks.

ugh. so depressing. yes, the title of the post is "ugh"- and i will be exercising my right to use it freely throughout this post.

After a depressing 50 store search and after one too many dresses messing up my hair and getting caught in the zippers- i bought 2, borrowed 1 and am calling it a day. I still don't know what i'll be wearing because all 3 are short and show (gross) leg. so we'll see.

why. can't. i. just. be. naturally. skinny.

i mean, WHY. I wanna punch all the skinny people who can eat whatever they want and not have an ounce of fat! ok, no i don't want to punch you really, i just wanna eat a bag of swedish fish WITH you and enjoy it like you do!

Ok, enough jibber jabber. I had to vent... and I still don't know what to do. I'm legit NOT in the mood to go back to Tony Horton and his upbeat, pleasant, chirpy self anytime soon but i guess it's necessary since it's getting cold and you know i will find an excuse not to go running outside... i'm also not in the mood to be crippled like i used to be when doing p90x... ugh choices. hahaha. i know what to do to be skinny, i just don't want to do it i guess is the ugly truth. I mean, i see people running up and down peachtree every day... I mean it says something that they're ALL skinny and PERFECT looking- they're out there running hard, sweating- while i pass them staring chowing down on my egg and cheese biscuit cursing them for their skin tight spandex that probably wouldn't go up my ankle... ugh.

i get it, i get it. i need to do something. see? all this venting has helped. it's made me feel like i have said it once and need to be accountable to not come back to this depression in 3 months. hah. I mean the MAIN issue is: I'm 24 and there are mom's out there {such as my own...} with better bodies. I mean, i must be adopted because my own mom is 5"1' and a double zero. teeny. and then there's me. ugh. haha
i seriously DO NOT want another summer of begging ordy to turn around before i drop my towel and jump in the pool hahahahaha he LOVES that {not}. I feel like losing weight would make me feel so much happier... it always does. i'm not ok with my body. i'm not being vain or superficial, but i am not ok with all the unhealthy decisions i have chosen and the price my body has had to pay. i am giving myself until May to attempt to lose some weight. I will set more specific goals but as of now, I am not telling anyone but my journal haha. I know tomorrow will be hard as i face being the biggest hypocrite when i ignore my gut instinct to choose more wisely... but hopefully I will start the day off RIGHT. one day at a time...

At least on days i can't control my weight nightmare- there are a few things i can control {thank the good Lord above}... here a few of my favorite things when it comes to my "in a rut" days... aka beautification time...

OPI on sale??? um hello...
 I wish i could get paid for the following because i am living proof they work and work WELL....
I actually can't find my straightener, but luckily i convinced my sister it was so awesome she bought the same one shortly after, so i'm just using hers until i buy another one. THANK goodness these are so affordable!!! this straightener is seriously the best thing that has ever happened to me. it has allowed me to wake up and decide if i want straight or curly hair. i can shower, blow dry, AND straighten my afro in one hour... that used to take me FOUR hours to do!!! i am about to buy this guy again.

My amazing nail salon... and their Shellac. I am obsessed with durable nails. my last purple mani lasted FOUR weeks. i didn't even have a single chip when i went to get them redone- i only redid them bc i was sick of the color!

I love this self tanner when i don't have time to spray tan {obsessed with VERSAspa spray tan...mot a fan of mystic tan}. i got it on clearance at a semi annual at bath and body works for around the same price... so i'm ok with the fact that i only bought one last sale just to see if i like it- and i do... so maybe i'll get more next sale- even tho i have more than enough for the next two years haha

threading! (generic google pic)
i am pretty much addicted to my eyebrow threader. i have been going there for 7 or 8 years now and have sent everyone and their moms to my lady. she is soooo good. she can look at your face, see the shape, and groom them to perfection. it doesn't hurt, seriously. it's way more precise than waxing! if you live in Atlanta, you have to go visit Arches Salon in Lenox mall (across BeBe). they have shops in Town Center and other malls, but my favorite is Lenox. Saleema and Zera are my favorite girls! (i was not paid for such rave reviews haha, if only my blog were big enough!)

An old friend got me hooked on this in undergrad, and if i were disciplined enough my teeth would blind you this stuff works that good- for WAY less than white strips... i saw a difference on the 3rd day... gah, i swear no one is paying me (but they should...)

My make up splurge for mascara:

In.Sane.Lashes. like whoa. These make your lashes look incredibly thick and long. the little ball is so handy for going close to the inner eyelash (where it's closest to your nose) and cover each lash instead of a generic wand. If you want "wow" lashes, you should splurge just once and try this... it's worth it i promise. if not, send me your tube and i'll pay you for it haha my own guarantee. (just kidding!)

And now for the final reveal... my Secret Weapon {guess it's not such a secret anymore...}

that's the one I actually have. the one i spent wayyyyyy more than it goes online for. i thought i got a deal for $130'ish from the guy that suckered me in at the kiosk in the mall {i can't say no} but honestly, the thing does SUCH a great job that I could care less. plus it has a lifetime warranty. LIFETIME. and if i ever get sick of the fat curler i can get the skinny one or for a straightener. it was worth every penny. I honestly am thinking about buying a second off amazon for back up... in case i ever lose this one (like my straightener)... 

Not convinced? Here, I'll show you:

sorry about the creepy collage, i just wanted to show that every.single.time. i use that thing- my curls come out flawless :) (anytime i post a pic with the curler curls i get at LEAST 6 people ask me how i did it)

another curler curl day with my favorite boy under 5
you're welcome for sharing my secrets. haha jk. i have been wanting to tell my girlfriends who always ask on facebook how my wavy curls are so awesome- and now you know! p.s. i am obsessed with the amazon link buttons, i am fascinated with being able to put a link and show a picture! it's like i'm spelling it out for you hahaha.

that's pretty much all i can do to feel better about myself... since i don't dye or cut my hair haha i can't gush about my fav salon hah but other than that, these are just some things that make me happy!

K, i'm off to bed- busy, busy day tomorrow!


  1. o man i needed those tips so bad! i want some curls but everytime i would try my curling iron, they looked HORRIBLE. And whenever i paint my nails they don't last 20min before they chip. I love the title of this post because EVERYONE has there ugh, you are not alone. And the funny thing is whenever you hear someone else's ugh you think what in the world are they talking about. For example, you talking about how you want to lose weight, i thought, you is crazy, you look great!
    Geez i'm ranting thanks again for the girlie tips, i have become to cheap to do girlie things anymore.

  2. Hey lady do those teeth whiteners hurt your teeth. I bought the legit dentist trays when I got my braces removed and now anytime I try to bleach, my teeth hurt so bad I'd rather be run over. And that mascara thing looks nuts!

  3. Curler: Alaina, do yourself a favor and sell a nightstand to buy the curler... i am not kidding you- i curled my friends STICK STRAIGHT hair (and she swore it couldnt be done) and the curls held for over 9 hours... i LOVE the Jose Eber curler! get the bigger barrel because it's more versatile... christmas is coming- i swear it's worth every penny. it looks funky/intimidating (no barrel clamp, just straight curler you wrap your hair around the rod) but it's SO easy. trust me. I get my hair looking amazing in 30 min and i have A LOT of hair...but about the weight thing- thank you! i hate saying it bc people are so nice, and i'm not milking compliments, i genuinely have let myself go and just wanted some accountability. haha but also, DO NOT ever be too cheap to let yourself go! enjoy a little "self" splurge. I mean think about how much we spend on our HOUSE, i'm sure we can skip out on a decoration or two and enjoy a 4 week lasting mani/pedi instead. it's just we like decorating way more- i have to remind myself to take care of myself some times haha.

    Mascara: another splurge, yes- but i have seen L'oreal make a knock off of it, don't remember the name, but it's a ball! i bought it once and found it to be too clumpy, so i like Givenchy more...

    Teeth: I HAVE THE MOST sensitive teeth in the world, i literally have to eat ice cream with my upper lip and melt it down- i cringe watching people "bite" popsicles... yikes! and they do not make that "zinggy" feeling other whiteners do. i couldn't use crest white strips bc it literally felt like my tooth was cracking in half and going all the way up to my brain with such pain.... so i feel you on that!

  4. Hey! On the weight-loss note (and I know this will sound cheesy) but the best way I've found to stay fit and motivated is to have a workout buddy. For me, that's my husband. We keep each other going to hot yoga and jogging or swimming 6 days a week. On days I convince myself I "have no time" or am "way too tired" he's the cheerful coach that gets me out of bed. We go together, we encourage each other, and sometimes, when I want to quit, he makes sure I don't.

    On the other hand, I provide a lot of the same support for him when I have strong day and he doesn't.

    He was putting on a LOT of weight from working all the time and eating fast food with his crew. All the hot yoga we've been doing seems to have made his body crave really fresh, healthy foods. That, plus the fact that some people lose about 4 lbs per class in sweat alone....he's getting his old sexy athletic figure back.

    Anyway, whether you and Ordy find an active hobby together, or you and a friend or sister sign up for a fitness/yoga/pilates/running/spinning/whatever floats your boat class...I think there's a lot of perseverance and power in pairs. I really lucked out that I have a man who broke down and was willing to try yoga with me. And who surprised himself by really enjoying it. :-)